A shaky handheld camera begins capturing footage of a large street with cars busily driving through it without patience, people walking along the sidewalk - some in suits, others in more casual clothes - as they bustle through the scene in equally busy mannerisms, a cloudy sky on a warm day. A familiar voice begins speaking in a high pitched, Afrikaans accent from behind the camera
Yolandi Visser
So here we are in the big, busy United States of America. Verenigde State van Amerika. As you can see it's pretty much like how it looks on TV back home; lots of busy people who always hurry around everywhere and look the same. I've already bought lots of cool things over here and I can't wait to show you guys back home all the different things they have here.
She turns the camera so it faces her, allowing her to greet her friends back home who she is sending this video to. She waves in an innocent, schoolgirl-like way which contrasts with her neon bright pink tank top and neon yellow shorts with a winky face on one of the rear cheeks
Yolandi Visser
Salute!
She smiles as she waves, revealing two wristwatches on her right wrist - one neon pink, and one neon yellow, neither of which tell the correct time. She keeps the camera facing her as she walks along the street, not seeming to worry about the risk of bumping into anybody
Yolandi Visser
So I had a dark match this week and won it so it looks like your little Yo-Landi is staying here for a while. It was a match against this other chick in WWG, but it wasn't too much hassle you know? Ek geskop haar gat. Anyway, next up I'm fighting a man. I think his name is Manuel Something the Fifteenth or something like that? I don't know. From what I've heard though the guy sounds like a real skaapie. I'm not too worried about fighting him, I can't imagine it'll be anything worse than we had to fight in Cape Town anyway.
She smiles nostalgically as she says this, remembering her fun times she had back home. Not someone to grow attached to others, however, Yolandi is yet to feel homesick towards her country that is so far away from her. In fact, her smile has a glow of hope in it rather than longing. Yolandi possesses the ability to appear mysteriously optimistic about most things in life, seemingly one step ahead of most others in a mischievous way, something she displays clearly when she smiles like she is right now
Yolandi Visser
So you guys don't need to worry about little old me right now. There are some big monster guys working in WWG but for now I can't imagine I'll have many problems with them. There's this one dude who walks around on a leash that some chick holds for him and he's like the top dog around here from what I can tell, he's been going around, you know, klapping anyone who's in his way and stuff but I doubt I need to worry about anything like that just yet. Nah, right now I'm focused on this laatie Manuel. I heard people talking about him at Revolution when I was backstage, but from what I can tell he got jumped by some other guy with a chain. I guess that works for me this week, we all know getting slapped around by some guy with a chain isn't going to make you feel like fighting again anytime soon.
Yolandi lights is a cigarette quickly with one hand as she pauses to look around at the scenery behind her and to her sides. Her left hand reveals two more watches on its wrist, again, one is neon pink and the other is neon yellow, and once again neither tell the correct time. South Africa seems like a world away compared to the sights she's seen in America so far. Her strong accent continuously gets strange looks from people she passes in the street or asks for directions, a lighter or the like. Never before has she felt so foreign, but she enjoys this feeling of being different, as one can assume just from the way she chooses to appear
Yolandi Visser
You know, I always knew zef was a South African thing but part of me thought maybe it made it over here in some way too. But I guess I was wrong, zef hasn't even nearly made it over to America. Well...not until now anyway. This week my match is going to be on television so you guys had better watch while I kick Manuel's little arse with my zefside zol, just like I did to Dylan Brooks at Revolution. It might not have been shown on TV, but the fans seemed to like what zef brought to the table. At Carnage even more people will get to see it and join in with the zef movement. We've got monsters running around WWG, we've got bodyguards, we've got champions, and now we've got the spirit of Suid-Afrika in between those ropes. The fans are going to start giving it up for little evil me when they see Manny crying in the ring after our match is over. I can't wait to get back in that ring, you know? After our match though, I bet Manny won't be feeling that way, if he shows up that is. I wouldn't blame him if after what happened to him at Revolution he pulls a jabu pule this week and licks his wounds at home.
Yolandi stops as she places a hand over her stomach
Yolandi Visser
Fok, speaking of licking wounds, I'm kak starving right now, bru.
As she says this, Yolandi carries on walking down the street until she spots a relatively empty diner. She smiles at her luck of finding it so soon after realising how hungry she is, throws her cigarette to the floor and approaches a man at the counter who waits for her to order. She speaks in her usual accent which clearly catches the man off guard
Yolandi Visser
Yo, bru. What graze is here?
The man looks at Yolandi, confused at what she just asked him. Before he can ask her to elaborate she realises she spoke in Afrikaans without realising it. For a second there, Yolandi was back in South Africa with her friends once again. She repeats herself, trying to make sure she is easier to understand this time as she reads one of the only vegetarian options from the menu
Yolandi Visser
I'll have a veggie burger.
The man nods and begins preparing her food as Yolandi takes a seat at a small table and places the camera on top of a napkin dispenser so she can continue talking to it. A few of the customers at other tables can be seen looking at her with confused looks on their faces at her appearance
Yolandi Visser
I swear I'm a total bonehead sometimes, you know? English might have travelled to South Africa but Afrikaans definitely hasn't returned the favour. It's weird, everything is different and strange around here but the truth is I'M the one who everyone thinks is the strange one. I need to get this zef movement rolling, and quickly. I started it at Revolution when I beat Dylan Brooks, and I'll carry it on this week when I beat Mr Manny Whatshisname. It's time to show the people of America that us Cape Town girls can roll with the big guys and come out on top if we want to. And pretty soon the whole of the WWG Universe will be talking zef and we'll be one big, happy movement, led by my zefside zol.
As Yolandi finishes speaking the man from behind the counter brings over her veggie burger and she picks it up and takes a bite out of it while the camera continues capturing the scene. She looks happy with the food and speaks once more with the food in her mouth
Yolandi Visser
Okay once guys, I'll catch you later.
She reaches out to the camera and turns it off with a clatter, ready to send the video to her friends back in her home country as the scene ends
