"I think if you play music and you join a scene you're already too late." Josh Homme"I think more people need to make out."Josh HommeDowntown PhiladelphiaWater covered the outside of the glass, sliding down the sides like a slow creek as the glass sweat profusely. Inside was straight unadulterated tequila. The dirty stuff as Mewes called it. Tonight he needed the dirty dirty. Three days had passed before Mike agreed to meet Angie. His mind racing like it were a NASCAR driver going round and round in a cyclic fury of epic proportions. Finally, with hesitation he had decided to hear her out, even though he knew very well it would not end well for one of them.
The bar was not very crowded, a couple regulars chatted about their miserable jobs and how much their life sucked while downing their paychecks instead of providing for their families. These men were sitting opposite the young stud at the far end of the bar. Mike takes a sip of his drink pondering the alternate life he would have had if he chose a different direction career wise instead of pro wrestling. After all, we make decisions every day that could be life changing, one decision could take you from success to the deepest pits of your own hell. The answer was simple. If he had went down a different career path he would be just another pathetic sap sitting next to those guys down at the end of the bar, drinking his life away. One decision.
Then he thought about the decision to cut ties with Angela. The one woman in his life that he actually had genuine feelings for. One woman who could keep him grounded to reality. At the time it made sense. He was simply protecting the both of them. Was it the right decision? It worked out for Angie apparently, getting ready to married to a rich **** in a three piece suit who drove a Mercedes, but, it was for the best he supposed. Suddenly a gentle tapping of his shoulder jolted him from the thoughts currently being pondered.
Hey you.Well I sure as hell never thought I would see you again.Trust me I thought the same thing Michael. But I really needed to talk to you about something.The soft biting of her lower lip, although very sexy and seductive, showed how unpleasant the situation must be. Mike always noticed Angie biting her lip if she was uncomfortable or had bad news and who could blame her if she felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Meeting your ex-boyfriend who you caught sleeping with two other women isn’t a wooo type of moment.
Did you and…..No. Nothing like that. The wedding is still on….I think.What? You think? Are you on lay away or something and he’s wondering if he has the rest of the money?It’s complicated….that isn’t what I’m here to talk to you about anyway. Nor is that any of your **** BUSINESS!Mewes backed away suddenly, like she was dragon and fire burst out of her mouth, nostrils smoking.
Easy. Easy. Fine, then why did you message me?Angie slowly bowed her head. Her chin touching her chest, a large sigh exhaling from her diaphragm. Mike put his arm around her shoulders like it was a reflex. However, she shrugged his arm off giving him a hint that she does not want to be touched.
You should leave The Inferno. Leave my dad and his gym behind and don’t look back.This statement startled him, causing a slow anger to fester to the surface.
Whoa, whoa. What? Ok I get it so first we separate and that’s ok, but now you want me to leave the gym? What is me being with daddy causing you too much **** agony? Or is “Mr. right” not happy about me being back in town because you said it was none of my business to ask you about your loveli…..Are you for real? Listen to yourself Mike. Unfucking believable. You really think I’m that naïve? If you do then I guess you never really knew me at all. I was just another play toy for you.C’mon Ange, you know that isn’t true. I’m sorry, I don’t think that and you know what we had was the real deal. That I can guarantee.The love was indeed real, but their relationship was that of the love hate type especially towards the end playing like a Smiths record on infinite repeat.
Anyway, my point is, you are not welcome there anymore. I…I heard my dad talking to a couple of guys he is going to bring in to put the gym over the top. When that happens he’s going to cut you out and kick you to the curb. He…he used you Mike. Coming back was the rage, but not towards her, towards her no good piece of **** father. He felt betrayed more than anything. The pain was like being stabbed in the back with a machete and her father was just twisting the knife for fun, for amusement to watch him squirm.
What? Wha….are you serious?We may not be together anymore Michael, but I wouldn’t lie to you. Figured I would give a heads up so you and your “boys” don’t get ****. See ya later. She wasted not one second more before swiftly walking out the bar. The wood door closing behind her, the multi colored glass panes in an oval like shape. Time seemed to pass a slow rate, minutes feeling as if they were just mere seconds ticking by. The alcohol flowed very quickly though glass after glass slamming down on the bar, each one with more force then the last. The fires of hell were burning bright in the soul of Mewes higher and higher the more enraged he had become. With tequila taking over his body after about the 10th glass it became crystal clear what had to be done….no one uses Mike Mewes.
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Frank Dante switched off the lights in his office ready to call it another exhausting day. He slammed the door shut and locking it. Looking around the empty gym a smile, more sinister than a lighthearted grin. Satisfied that his work is almost complete and the Inferno will now be a national powerhouse bolstering a roster of talent similar to Super Bowl teams of the early 90’s Dallas Cowboys. His lifelong dream was about to be realized.
Smash!Bursting open as if a battering ram used by a SWAT team breaking down the door of suspected drug house was the front door. Standing in the doorway was an angry booze fueled disgruntled employee in the form of Mike Mewes. Gripped tight in his hand was a Louisville Slugger intended for a hefty amount of property damage and maybe some bodily harm. Wasting no time and before his superior or former superior could get word one out he made his way over to the office and smashed in the glass window on the upper half door. Glass shattered into a million pieces covering the floor. The look in Mike’s eyes was nothing short of a psychopath who had just been sent over the edge. Wild eyed he turned toward Frank who had a look of utter terror that of someone about to be hacked up by a serial killer in a slasher movie.
Wha…wha….what the **** are you do….Frank’s lip was quivering as he tried to ask Mike what was wrong but before he could finish Mewes took the bat majestically swinging it connecting flush with Frank’s ribs. He fell to the floor in a heap holding his ribs. Wincing in pain the agony had just begun as strike after strike from the aluminum barrel just compounded the damage even further. Finally the blows ceased. Mike put the head of the bat against Frank’s cheek who was lying their helpless on the floor. The cold sensation of the aluminum pressed against his flesh was in some way the cold unforgiving **** of payback.
You son of a….Shut the **** up you lying ass weasel. So what is this I hear? You are going to cut me out huh? After all that I did for you.
I’m the reason this gym is where it is at right now. Magnum P.I. is the only **** reason you an ounce of credibility to this place!A chuckle sounding a bit cocky in nature came from the chest of Dante.
You know, I underestimated you kid. You are a valuable asset after all. Who told you? Was it Nick? I knew I couldn’t trust him.Nick? What?Oh, so he didn’t tell you. Yeah your “little buddy” was in on it the whole time. He is going to be the next big thing coming out of here. You should feel good, I mean you did contribute to his success.So much for loyalty he thought. One of his best friends or at least he thought was playing him the hold time and the knife continued to twist in his back.
You know who told me?
Who? I’d love to know.It was your daughter…..Frank started squirming around like a fish out of water trying desperately to breathe. Rage soon filled his face.
You little fucker! I told you to stay away from her!I didn’t go to her, she came to me you fat piece of ****! Turns out…..your daughter…..is more loyal to me than her own flesh and blood.She never did get over you….did she? I guess you had a big impact on her after all. But you still **** it up! Just like you **** up everyone and everything in your life!In a fit of rage Mewes drove the bat into Frank’s midsection again and again. After the massacre he tossed the bat nonchalantly to the side as the aluminum rattled upon making contact with the concrete.
You **** with the wrong person….OLD MAN! Nobody uses me as a **** pawn. Consider this my resignation from this **** shithole. Mike leaned down closer to the beaten body of Dante. A sly grin covered his face from ear to ear, reaching down and grabbing around the throat. He began to whisper.
I’m going to **** bury you, Frank. Saitama and I, Magnum P.I. is going to open up our own gym and we are going bury you. We are the reason for your success and soon you will realize that old man. I’m going to take your clients, your business and then I’m going to take your **** house….and love every minute of it. So thank you in advance for the party house you stupid ****. Mike let his grip go but not before rubbing Frank’s face into the concrete. Giving him a proper sendoff the only way he knew how, Magnum flew the bird high in front of Dante as his disheveled body lay on the ground. Mike grabs the bat laying on the ground and walks out the door of the Inferno….for the last time.
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Highway 111The San Diego Airport had been left in the dust hours ago. Now rolling down Highway 111, past Palm Springs towards Indio a gold Ford Mustang. The engine roared mighty like a lion walking the Serengeti barreling down the highway at an extreme high rate of speed. Sitting in the car were Magnum P.I. members Saitama Gomi and Mike Mewes. Magnum was driving still heated from his encounter with Frank Dante a few days earlier. It was going on 10:30 and the desert heat had disappeared with setting of the bright, hot sun. During the day the heat usually reaches 95-105 degrees with the deserts arid climate. Queens of the Stone Age blasting from the speakers of the car both men head banging to the mind melting beat.
Gomi lit a joint and soon the smoke started gracefully pouring from the marijuana cigarette. As the saying goes Gomi puffed puffed and passed it to Mewes.
Here bro this will loosen you up.Magnum took the joint from Saitama slipping it in his mouth. He took two generous puffs before taking a third, handing it back to his passenger.
Damn. Now that is some good **** dude. Bravo. Bra **** vo man. So….what exactly are we doing out here again?Finding an Oasis.This is a **** desert dude.I’m using it as a metaphor you stupid ass clown. Do not make me **** slap you right here.Go ahead…..we are heading to the spot where our new gym is going to be. I’ve always wanted to come out here and now I have a reason to do so. It’s a new beginning. This will be the base in which we launch a full frontal assault on the world of pro wrestling and become the most dominant group the world has ever **** seen!Smoke blew out Gomi’s mouth from another couple puffs of the ganja. Suddenly Mewes hits the turn signal for a turn up ahead. A road sign sat up ahead along the side of the highway but without the light from the headlights the words could not be made out.
Closer. Closer.
Suddenly the lettering on the sign was clearly visible. Palm Desert. An arrow prominently place in the direction toward the town.
Welcome to the Palm Desert bro.----
The following promo does not reflect the overall views of the WWG and is rated
M for Mewes is
**** AWESOMEPalm Desert Resting in the Coachella Valley which sits at the base of the San Jacinto Mountains, home to one of the largest modern music festivals, Coachella in nearby Indio, California is the city of Palm Desert. The 27 square mile city is home to roughly 52,000 residents becoming quite the hot spot for those looking to get out of the cold cruel winters of the eastern part of the United States. A multi diverse community consisting of all kinds of ethnic background but the majority of the age is 50 or above. However, the town soon was going to get some new, young, fresh blood.
Home to the birthplace of stoner rock, Palm Desert was home to the Palm Desert music scene. Producing bands like Kyuss, Queens of the Stone Age, Fu Manchu, and Fatso Jetson and musicians like Josh Homme, Chris Goss, and Nick Oliveri, inventing a hard sludgy mix of blues, heavy metal, **** punk, psych rock, and grunge tossed into a blender creating pure musical ecstasy. Mike specifically chose this location, the place that birthed the infamous Desert Sessions, a collective collaboration among musicians that started when a group of guys played three days straight tripping balls off of mushrooms in the desert, as the basis for the Magnum revolution beginning at the PPV conveniently named Revolution.
Gathering in the desert outside the city limits are Magnum Mike Mewes and Notorious Saitama Gomi surrounded by cars neatly place in a large semicircle. The headlights shine bright and a stage has been set up, a local band playing at the center of this makeshift desert party. Drugs, alcohol, and beautiful women…..what else would you expect from Magnum P.I. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, loving the desert rock of this local gem.
The camera cuts to a camcorder showing Mewes and Gomi surrounded by some lovely ladies, dancing and sucking face.
Ohh. Ohhh baby do you know how to use that tongue or what. Girl you are going to drive me crazy with that later. You and your friends are in for one hell of a night!Yo man you got anything to say?The man holding the camera shouts at both men. Mewes turns his attention to the voice. What an opportunity to make a statement ahead of the PPV he thought, a wide grin from ear to ear, his teeth partly showing.
What a **** party huh! This is what happens when you aren’t chained like a **** animal. Held back by a superior douche. The Inferno and Frank Dante were just holding me back. Keeping me from reaching my full potential. That fat **** got what he deserved. This desert party, which is the first of many to come, is Magnum P.I. declaring their independence from superficial pussies like Frank Dante. We trust no one and we work for no one! The woman abruptly grabs Magnum by the head, sticking her tongue down his throat in a quick make out session. After the little after school special is completed a joint appears from his pocket. Slipping it into his mouth he begins to light the joint. Mike gives her a shotgun, blowing the smoke into her mouth before they lock lips again.
You are a bad, bad girl....You will find out just how….bad tonight.She slowly runs her finger from his lips to his chiseled chest….and ending at his crotch area. Even though he obviously did not want to at the moment Mewes looks back toward the camera. Seriously who wants to talk when a fine ass woman is grabbing your ****?
See….you don’t get action like this when you are a weak minded **** ****. Pussies like Frank Dante, The Trotters, and the three assholes who decided we suck so let’s pull our money together and try and take over the company.
Mewes hits the joint again. A cloud of smoke in a relaxed exhale flows out the mouth and nostrils of Magnum.
Let’s start with the Trotters. Two weeks ago, Ethan and I beat you bitches like you **** stole something. We reclaimed our titles and sent you back home crying to your mommy. Last week you dweebs decided to flood our locker room with monkeys. Cute. Real cute. What a stupid **** idea. What did you watch the Wizard of Oz again and thought “hmm monkeys!” You two have to be the stupidest sons of bitches I have ever seen. When will you realize that we are the **** kings of the tag team division? Huh? How bad to we have to beat your ass before it gets through your skulls that you don’t belong with the big dogs! Magnum P.I. runs this ****. Now, finally I get my shot at the only title you guys have left to boast about. Well, that soon will be mine too. At Revolution I will have my greatest performance yet. Whipping your ass all over the arena and then some will be my sweetest moment to date in WWG Trotter….almost, dare I say too sweet!He looks back at the hot blonde on his left. He whispers something in her ear before kissing her again, playfully smacking her ass. She leaves but before leaving she says,
Come find me when you are done baby!God what an ass! Anyway, at first this little feud was kind of fun. A little runt who thought he belonged in the majors. But now? Now you are a giant pain in my ass! A flea that must be exterminated. I have more talent, charisma, and balls in my 11 inch dick….yes ladies I said 11 inches, eat your heart out, than you do in your entire body. After I beat you and take that precious title from you, making you cry like a little **** the only thing you are going to do is go home with that special needs of a brother you have and play a family edition of hide the sausage. By the way, I gotta know, when you two have your little family time…who pitches and who catches? You probably catch don’t you? Because you love getting **** in the ass. It seems to fit don’t you think. Which, if you think about it, would make it easier for me when I shove my boot straight there Trotter. Then after it is all said and done boy, we will party from sun up to sun down celebrating the end of the **** Street Boys! I am the man, the myth, and the sexual legend!More smoke filled the air as it was apparent joints and blunts were all over the place and Mewes continued to smoke his joint.
First it’s going to be the Absolute title. We already have the team titles. After, Magnum P.I. is going to take the Carnage and eventually the World Heavyweight championships….no matter who holds them! The era of SEXY is about to begin. We will launch our own brand of wrestling and you have two choices….resist and get your ass stomped without mercy, or, join us and live the life of a **** rock god! Rock gods like those who started the Desert rock movement here in Palm Desert! Gods like Josh Homme and Jesse Hughes! Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll will prevail, knee deep in beautiful ****, and if you don’t like it, well then you kiss our **** ass! Jakob Hysteria, Collins, Wretched and that stupid **** Grace Brutal, Maxi Pad, if you want to come at us then come at us! I don’t give a **** if you are Freddy K, nobody tells us what to do! You want a piece of us? Why don’t you come out to the desert and see if you can survive an unholy beating of epic proportions! That is an ABSOLUTE GUARANTEE muther fuckers! Welcome to our Oasis in the Desert!With a cocky smirk and a laugh Mewes, Gomi and the girls with them that are remaining unceremoniously raise both middle fingers on both hands, giving their setiments to those who oppose their monumental awesomness. He grabs one the girls around the waist pulling her close before locking lips, his hands firmly grasped around her ass.
Now, let’s go find your friend cause I have a nice surprise for you ladies to play with. Have you ever tried to have a Magnum sandwich? It is packed full of protein and fluids! See you boys I’m going to get my dick wet! Owwwwwooowwwww!With a crazy howl from Magnum, the girl, a smile on her face leads Mike into the crowd of party goers as the local band roars on from the stage. It was about to go down babay!
