University of Florida Campus
Gainesville, Florida
GO GATORS!!Wild cheers from college coeds pierced the air, shrieking in fantastic excitement as a house party raged on through the night in the city of Gainesville. His old pal AJ Riley was a monster football fan and had received tickets to Florida Gator games, it was his alma mater after all. Opening week had come and with the #25 ranked Gators winning the opener it was only fitting to party amongst the students, who knew maybe they would find some fans? At least find some smokin’ hotties you know. After all, Katy Perry crowd surfed in a bar in Mississippi with students after Ole Miss upset Alabama….with these guys in town who knew what could happen.
BODY SHOTS!! You two boys….get over here!A sexy redhead eagerly hopped onto the make shift bar in the basement of the house. The white of the walls glowed in a deep purple from the florescent glow lights hanging from the ceiling above. Mewes and AJ played rock, paper, scissors to see who would take the first shot off the milky white abdomen of the chick on the bar.
Sorry bro…I get first crack and you get my sloppy seconds….Mike chuckles. Heavenly bodies surrounding the woman and two men pour the tequila on her smooth abdomen, a lemon wedge lodged in her mouth. Mike places his lips on her belly sucking down the alcohol before moving slowly, seductively, up to the wedge. He gently removes it from her mouth with his. The bar is going wild, hooting, hollering as Mewes spits out the wedge and locks lips with the beautiful woman. They make out passionately causing everyone to go crazy.
Damn baby girl…..you, me, later tonightA satisfying smile arose as she whispered in his ears, he too formed a grin.
Yeeeaaahhhh baybay!AJ places his arm on the shoulder of Mewes while fixating on a blonde to his left, one with a bodacious ass. Mewes swiftly downed a couple more shots of tequila before turning around his attention on the same female his pal had fixated.
So, dude I have a sweet idea flowing in my brain juices and I wanna pitch it to you. Start a Magnum P.I. party tour….hear me out, we go campus to campus hooking up with **** hot coeds while pitching our dojo and get these young boys out there with us. Think of it as a feeder system for professional wrestling and WWG in general. That my friend, sounds like a very smart idea. We put our name out there meanwhile getting a connection with college kids. Those that come can recruit their friends and blows up from there.Mike rubs his hand through AJ’s hair in a childish tone. Florida would be just the beginning….soon they would have a national pipeline pumping out top prospect after top prospect, launching the team Dawgs into the upper echelon.
Just then a buzz from his pocket demands his attention. Freddy K had put up the card. Using his thumb he unlocked his phone and an urgent message popped up…
Mike Mewes v. Derrick Trotter- Absolute Title…..ONE LAST TIMEHe quickly became visibly agitated. A thorn in his side, Mewes thought he had ridden himself up showed itself again, refusing to give in without a fight…it was time to get the big guns out and blow away this muther fucker for good….
Are you **** serious!? We are really doing this again? Who books this terrible ****!? Where is that Gainesville green that you keep telling me about dude, papa needs some of that ****….AJ had spoken before on many occasions about the strain of marijuana notorious around these parts. It was some top of the line **** and had a large reputation.
I don’t know man. Ask around….it isn’t hard to fine here bro. You get some bad news man? Remember Bobby, from back in the day? How annoying he was?Yeah man, that guys was a total dick wad and pain in my ass…you don’t want to be a Bobby.I have a Bobby bro….It’s that guy I beat at the PPV for his title. The boss scheduled another match with him….Oh that Trotter dude? He’s moron…I thought you put him out of commission?Yeah, me too. It’s time to show him what happens when you mess with the best….Hey you, Gainesville green? Gainesville green? YO, who has that good ****!? A wide smile rises as he has a brilliant idea. Mewes makes his way to the DJ at the party…dude obviously has a mic and it is about be commandeered by Magnum. Mewes whispers in the DJ’s ear and the DJ nods, handing him a mic.
What’s up you **** party animals…How many in here watch WWG? More than half the crowd yells out acknowledging the wrestling company.
Who here likes Magnum P.I.? Anyone?Loud cheers ring out from the crowd gathered in the house basement. Mewes grins hearing the positive reaction.
I knew you fuckers loved that ****! Listen up….I Mike Mewes….that is right…THEE Mike **** Mewes would like to invite you all to the desert and join up with our Desert Dawg crew! We will make you into combat sport stars and turn you in to lady killers if you know what I am sayin! I currently have a problem that has come to my attention, forcing….ok it’s not forcing, I love smoking that ****, I need to know…..WHO has that Gainesville green!? Also….where is the redhead from earlier? I have an itch that needs scratched reaaaallll bad! You know who you are? Anyway….for my fans that love me…..Derrick Trotter is a dead man walking and you can tune in Sunday night to watch me whip that ass….putting him into permanent retirement….as for my female fans….I’ll be here all fuckin night…don’t be shy and say hi to the legend that is MEWES!!!Mewes….his hands out to the side and his head tilted toward the sky turns, his back facing the crowd of college coeds, his shirt is missing at this point and sweat rolls down his body. Letting gravity take over he falls into the sea of students, crowd surfing his way back to the bar as the music starts up again.
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The following promo has been paid for by Magnum P.I. The views in this promo do not reflect the views of WWG. The following segment is rated
MA for Mewes is
**** AWESOME!Out in the desert...the place that Magnum has made his home, construction is underway building the Desert Dawgs gym....a gym that will soon be one of, if not the best, gyms in the nation. A few miles to the east where the building is being assembled is the pit. A stretch of land with a stage built for bands to play is surrounded by a couple hundred people, the headlights of their cars lit up as makeshift stage lights. People with booze and drugs looking to party but are waiting for the band to start playing.
Suddenly, the letters MEWES begin to glow behind the stage bright and white. A man….the man himself stands with a mic in his hand…the lights of the cars bouncing off his jet black leather jacket, his back facing the crowd.
Ladies and gentlemen….the legend of lady-killers, the god of pleasure, the man, the myth, the legend….he is the SEXIEST BEAST ON THE PLANET….the WWG Absolute and Team champion……Magnum Mike Mewwwweeeesss!Sir sexy gives himself an introduction fit for a rock star. He quickly spins around revealing his face to the crowd who give a thunderous cheer for the greatest man to ever live.
Thank you! Thank you! You are all too kind. Thank you. Tomorrow night I will go into battle for this very title.Mewes gently lays the Absolute strap around his shoulder, where it should remain for years and years to come. No one
would be able to take it from him.
One last time….that’s right, this is the last time I will have to wasting my time with a shithead and I can focus on bigger things. Things like fuckin, drinkin, and partyin! Yeah the holy trinity as I call it. The ABSOLUTE…yes pun intended….time that I will have waste my time with that no good dirtbag Derrick Trotter. [/color]
He develops a mocking tone… one with a terrible accent. Those in attendance found this whole shtick quite entertaining.
Oh look at me, look at me, me old muckers! You’re going to get Trottered! Mike Mewes, Mike Mewes, don’t kick my ass Mr. Mewes. I was only joking me old mucker! The mocking tone begins to dissipate.
I thought I took care of you for good at the PPV but you just keep coming back causing an itch that won’t go away. Trotter is the human equivalent to crabs, ladies and gentlemen. The ugliest **** you have seen in your entire life and it itches like a **** and just when you think it is gone that **** comes back uglier than ever. I’m serious folks….this guy….is a douche. Imagine that dork in high school who you just wanted to punch in the face and stuff them in a trash can and you have a PERFECT description for those who don’t know what I’m talking about. That guy who girls fear are going to talk to them….Derrick Trotter. The one guy who didn’t belong on the wrestling team and is known to get boners when humping it up with the sweaty opponent….that’s Derrick Trotter. A real lemon people. He’s rain man but just with the idiot part. Creeper than Jared from Subway, do not let your kids around this man folks…he will traumatize them…Mewes reveals a joint from the right pocket of his jacket. The flame of the lighter catches fire with the paper of the joint, igniting the weed wrapped inside. Mewes takes a monster rip before passing it to a member in the crowd who is standing next to the stage.
Good **** right there man. Compliments to a school in Florida that I can’t name at this time. It’s the real deal folks. Just like me! I’m the real deal baby…the girls are all on deez nuts right here and I have gold placed on each side of my body. Trotter was a boy living in a man’s world and big bad Mike Mewes came in and showed the world who the real deal was! First he and his brother try desperately….but to no avail….capture the Team titles held by Magnum P.I. and then his precious Absolute title finds its way into my hands. You are foolish Trotter if you think this time will be any different from the match at Revolution when I put your ass out of commission for two weeks home boy! This time though I will finish the job. It’s time to put your ass in a **** retirement home or in a body bag and if you think your bother will be there to help….then think again because where ever he is my crew will be…watching….waiting to pounce on him and put you both out of the WWG for good! My world tour as Absolute champ is just beginning baybay. I have big things planned for this title and it all starts with one last time against the biggest piece of **** ever, Derrick Trotter. Mewes, a grin assembling on his face, looks at the band behind them who are ready in their positions for when they start playing. He nods at the lead singer who nods back whispering to his bandmates.
This is it Trotter. The final countdown begins now. One last time I will embarrass your ass in front of millions and millions! I’m going to drop more bombs than what was dropped on Hiroshima bro. The end is near for you, yes it is. Unlike last time, when you only spent two weeks on the shelf, you will be permanently removed from this roster with a…..[/b]
The lead singer interrupts suddenly cutting off Mewes as Mike makes a gun with his hand and points it to his head.
BULLETT IN THE HEAD!! The band jumps right into the chorus of Rage against the Machine’s Bullet in the head, commencing the beginning to the festivities. Mewes jumps off the stage and his passed around by those below the stage.
