STAY DOWN

STAY DOWN

There was a difference between a broken body and a broken soul. The former hurt a lot less for starters...and it left you with that residual feeling- at least you tried. You tried and it hurts because of that effort. There was some redemption in the pain. Achey reminders of a battle well fought.

Trine Larsen felt...cheap. As she slowly started to regain consciousness after a baseball bat to the back of her skull, the sharp taste of dirty fingers and the musty lull of money was in her mouth. She couldn’t focus…

The ropes would fade in and out of focus. The sound of the crowd, the announcers, and the remarkably clean cut edge of dress shoes sat close to her face on the canvass. The blonde shifted as the pair of shoes stepped away, rolling out of the ring, and heading up the ramp. She didn’t see any of it- just that the shoes had left. Blue eyes wavered, trying to focus, but the lights over head burned somewhere deep in her skull. Her stomach churned, her body working with the concussion, trying to deal with it in the only way it could.

She was going to feel this tomorrow…

Fever and chills. The inability to keep herself occupied because the tv made her dizzy, her phone made her nauseated, reading was like torture for her eyes. All you could do was lie there with your eyes closed and think- which also hurt to do.

Her lips moved, slowly working with her tongue to push out the bill in her mouth. It fell from her lips, landing in a crumpled heap of moist, tough, paper onto the canvass and she felt her eyebrows lift and pinch without her say so. She didn’t want to do this. Her body hurt from attack after attack. After almost two years of a constant obsessive effort on Wretched Nobody’s part to somehow prove he was better than a five foot one woman. That no matter what she did he always INSERTED his way into her story, her life, her matches. She didn’t care about that...it was just bumps and bruises...and Jason King had been right when he said the dangerous ones don’t have to make a lot of noise. He had been right about a lot of things...

Wretched Nobody was so **** loud.

He had to be.

That’s what happens when you’re only dangerous inside of your mind.

You try to prove it to everyone else, but…

She didn’t believe it. She never believed it.

She never would.

Maxwell Lord hadn’t so much as been on her radar. Not because he was easy to ignore. He was talented, he was clever, and he was dangerous when it came time for it. She spent so much of her time waiting for Alexander to come back… There was so much respect for that man and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little disappointed that Maxwell had returned without him.

When she first signed her contract with WWG that was who she looked up to. She wanted to be that successful and that kind. Without his knowing Alexander Lord was who she looked to for pointers. It was his promos she would watch over and over trying to get the hang of talking big, but not talking down. She learned from him how to be kind, but tough. Everything she became in the company was thanks to the groundwork he laid down and he insatiable need to learn.

And it was Alexander Lord who had stuffed dirty money in her mouth and walked away.

Trine’s eyes shifted and she could see a Sting mask lying on the canvass. It wavered in and out of focus- at first it had just been her brain trying to work through the sharp impact of a bat to the back of her skull, but then it was something else.

The slow creep of a tear breaking free of her eyelashes trailed down her cheek. She wished it didn’t because they’d use that as ammunition. Some bullshit like “Oh, we are so strong and manly. Two years later we finally made this tiny woman shed a tear in the ring.” Before they good gamed each other in the locker room.

Marcus Collins had been toying with her for months now. He’d done more damage than anyone in the company had ever. He didn’t take cheap shots, he didn’t physically try to blindside her and that was because he was smart.

He was so **** smart because he knew there was no sign of strength in physically overpowering someone a fourth of your size outside of the ring- unexpectedly. What he did know was that all of the power lied in breaking the mind of someone who would never give up.

It was scary. It hurt. And it worked. There were times when she would lie on her back staring up at blank hotel ceiling and think that she respected him for it.

It worked.

Her ego wasn’t so over blown like some people in the company. She could admit that.

It worked.

Marcus Collins was brilliant and she could respect that.

He worked smarter not harder.

And more importantly he was quiet because he could be.

Because even if Marcus Collins never breathed a word, never blindsided attacked someone, people knew he was dangerous.

That was real power.

And that was why Grace had been so adamant in working with him because Wretched Nobody would never reach that level.

Grace was loud with her words and he was loud in his actions.

” As for the **** and her walking handbag. Trust me when i say you know the real dangerous people by the ones who don't have to put on a light show to tell you their dangerous.
“

Grace was loud with her word and Nobody was loud with his actions because….

They needed to be.

They….weren’t….dangerous…..

But this was- sitting in the middle of the ring with a burning light in your skull from a baseball bat with money stuffed in her **** mouth like after all of this time she was nothing, but a woman who was not good enough to be given any respect.

As if despite two years of hard work. The fact she never once acted like some kind of slutty high school cheerleader (even if for some reason Grace seemed to really hold onto that bullshit stereotype of blondes….even when….she was blonde….hmm..). The fact that out of everyone she had been on of the few people that didn’t use her sexuality for anything! In fact had even been considered being too void of any sexuality. And when she DID have any relationships they were all slow moving, respectable, and spaced over a year apart after she’d been cheated on.

So. Excuse her for moving on.

Excuse her for holding hands because that is far more riske than Grace spinning a promo about Wretch’s bedroom skills for a half hour, or Mike Mewes snorting coke off of strippers, or Marcus Collins and that weird...woman...who had curled herself around his legs like some kind of weird, dominatrix cat- OR Kandi Washington molesting Kalieb on camera, or blow jobs, or-

Well, you get the point.

But yes. Trine Larsen was absolutely some kind of cheap **** of a blonde high school cheerleader because that was exactly how she carried herself over a two year career.

And that was exactly how she felt in that moment.

Cheap.
And filthy.
And used.
And left alone.

The blonde pushed herself up onto her palms and glared down at the bill crumpled and wet on the canvass, before slowly rolling off to the side and out of the ring. Her feet dropped to the matted floor with a half silent plod and as she made her way to the ramp a few fans had reached over the barrier and patted her on the shoulder.

Normally she would bother to look up with a smile, or stop for a selfie, or at least wave, but….she didn’t…

She barely felt the pats past the rushing in her own mind as she fought back the second tear that threatened to roll down her face, bowed her head, and made her way backstage.

Marcus Collins was right.

She should just stay down, but she kept getting up.

Because she was a **** idiot.

---

Blue eyes slowly drifted to the small, glass, table that sat at the side of her hotel bed. The red glow of the alarm clock reflected upside down in the clean surface of the glass. 4.30. No sleep again. Trine tried, but it just never came easily anymore. If anything she got more sleep in the back seat of an Uber on the way to the venue. There was a heavy sort of emptiness in her chest as she remembered the last time she’d slept through the night was the last time she’d gone to Minnesota to see Ken and Tony. She missed them. She missed Ken. She missed sleep.

But she was in that hotel room alone and awake and so tired.

Suddenly the bright, blue, glow of her phone screen lit up- casting heavy shadows over the bed and the a/c unit beneath the window and displayed on the screen in plain text was “Ken”. She’d changed the picture from Kid Genius standing on the second rope and pointing a finger gun to the camera to a candid shot of Kenneth Mason walking a few feet ahead, his head turned to look over his shoulder at her.

He always had impeccable timing. She figured it was what made him so successful in extreme sports where timing was everything.

A small, tired, smile pulled at the corners of her lips. He’d probably forgotten the time difference between Minnesota and California, but it didn’t matter it wasn’t like she’d been asleep…

The blonde rolled onto her side, pulled the charger cord from the bottom of her iPhone and slid the answer icon, pressing it to her ear and lying back into the white, down, pillows.

"Hey Ba-rine...”

Trine blinked, confusion knitting into her eyebrows as she tried to figure out what it was he’d been about to say.

”Who? she laughed, wiggling deeper into the mattress and pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.

”...um...ha..uh...haha sorry it's just that I had been practicing saying babe in the mirror cuz I thought maybe I would start doing that but then I realized that I am not quite sure if that's like I'm a thing we wanted to do and I'm like I think I mean I am pretty sure we are more than just...um..”

”...right!...I mean...yeah...uh…”

”...yeah, you know...but..um...anyway- I chickened out at the last second and said your name instead, but it came out weird and.....haha! Sorry, I'm rambling.”

”No, no, you’re fine!” she could feel the ache of a smile in her cheeks, but it drifted into something softer and relaxed- like her entire body had heaved one collective, enormous, sigh. Trine could hear his nervous sort of chuckle drift over the receiver and she turned her head- pressing the side of her face into the pillow beneath her and desperately wishing it had been the soft of his chest instead.

”Anyway.. so, I was calling because, well- a group of people out here in Minneapolis are trying to start a professional wrestling school for people in the northern mid west. It's not the fanciest thing in the world but for the right people get behind it there might be some big things coming out of it…”

The blonde listened carefully to the pause, the silence of the phone caught in a quiet hum of white noise and the sound of shuffling. She could almost see him rubbing the back of his neck.

"Anyway the reason I am telling you about it is because they asked me to head it up. But with my time so split with this MTV ESPN deal they have me on, and Tony, I suggested that someone else take that position...someone with more state side wrestling experience…”

Trine had fallen still in the hotel bed. It had probably been the first time she’d been that still in a long while, the only thing running through her mind was the words as they drifted through the receiver, lost in a sort of peace. They talked on the phone and skyped a few times, but it was in the in between moments. His voice would keep her awake on the long rides to the next venue or he’d be the last thing she saw on skype before one or the other had to go. Go to bed, or to work, or to breakfast- even though she’d taken her laptop down to the continental breakfast one morning and they dubbed it a breakfast date. Ken had been a good sport about it and the extra ten minutes with him goofing off about way the eggs looked had been enough to make her entire week.

“...a multi time world champion...someone with blue eyes and looks way too hot in workout clothes to be legal in most states....”

Now, however she started to pull out of that space, her mind catching onto where he was going and starting to process all of this as an active participant instead of actively listening to him speak. There was a short silence on her side of the line as she mentally processed it all again in a different light.

”...too much?”

She laughed adding a quick ”You’re fine...I’m just...I just had a weird moment there,” the rested sort of lackadaisical state her body had drifted into- exhausted and finally comfortable, was pushed back as Kenneth continued.

"I know your with WWG right now running the ship but...Trine...I don't want you to think that I don't think you can do it. That's not the case at all. I 100% know you can kick the ass of all of those jokes and probably could run circles around them in the ring....it’s just I am worried…” the smile on Trine’s face shifted into a small frown. He’d noticed...he must have...she had done her best to play it off, but she should have known that Ken would have seen it…she’d started slowly falling apart...”...maybe just because it's something you COULD do doesn't mean that it's something you SHOULD do.

You're not smiling anymore...I can see it cuz I watch you every show. Wrestling is in your blood but if the place where you are doing at is full of...um well ****”a small laugh escaped her lips, the wording just striking her funny,”...that's gonna get in your system.”

”Right, makes sense…”

”I just think that maybe...if you wanted...You could take some time and...I don’t know...take this job. The pay's not as amazing, yet, and it's not as glamorous...but you only have to wear makeup when you want to, you'll be in charge, you'll be closer to Tony, closer to your handsome boy..um...your handsome..uh..me your handsome me, and you can surround yourself with people who look at you as someone to be respected"

There was a strange feeling. It was shame mixed with relief. She’d been found out, but at the same time there was something so freeing about someone noticing something was wrong without her having to say it. She didn’t have to say it out loud, but he was there with an out. He was there understanding she needed some kind of escape outside of their phone calls and Skype sessions. He’d paused and she wanted to say something, but thank you felt too much like admitting she couldn’t take it anymore and anything else didn’t feel like enough…

I miss you… it came to mind, but it didn’t feel right to say out loud. The reality was she missed them together, but it didn’t feel right to say in that moment...

"I know you are a fighter and I know you would rather go down swinging than walk away even for a second. It's why you are champion now and why I think you are so awesome and also a cheat at Mario Kart-”

”Excuse me!?” The laugh that burst from her lips echoed back in the empty hotel room.

”THAT’S RIGHT I SAID IT!”

There was a short span of time where they’d laughed together and that dread in her chest seemed to alleviate some.

”Hahaha...but seriously...Trine I don't want you do anything but give it your best every single time. It's why I....um...really enjoy your company. But if the day ever comes where you feel like you can take a break from showing the world just a taste of how amazing I know you are...you have a place to go."

The phone line was silent for a moment. Her face had felt wet and Trine had just assumed she might have laughed a little too hard, but somewhere...at some point...in those last few lines the laughter had gotten quiet and the same motion in her chest had turned into more of a sob. It was such a complex mix of emotions all at once. The shame of realizing that maybe she couldn’t pull out of this mess, the frustration that her pride had dug the hole so deep, the fact that (even if they never really touched on it) she loved the man on the other end of the line with so much of her heart, and the relief of a way out. Being so incredibly thankful by some stroke of chance they’d run into each other in the hallway of WWG had led to everything after, that led to this moment in time- with him there unknowingly in silent support and her lying in her hotel bed trying to wipe the tears off of her face faster than they were falling.

”......I miss you so much, thank you….”

“ I miss you too Trine...pretty much all the time...you'd be surprised how long a day is when you are not around to...just be in it with me haha…”

Trine smiled despite herself, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her free hand. She had a hunch she knew exactly how long a day could feel. The last few months had been nothing but long days broken up by visits that flew by way too fast, or phone calls that lasted hours, but felt like a few minutes.

”And well...you're welcome. But you don't ever have to thank me. It's what I'm here for. I'm told that's what...um… A boyfriend…or uh...ya know...someone who deeply wants to apply for the position...does for their...person.”

A small laugh drifted over from her end of the line and she shook her head- even if he wcouldn’t see from miles and miles away.

”Well, Mr. Mason. After carefully reviewing your resume and speaking to your references. I just wanted to let you know we here at Trine Larsen Corp. have accepted your application for the boyfriend position,” the corny businessman type tone she’d taken slipped away, ”a while ago- so you can say it without feeling...weird...if you want…”

“....oh...ha...um...that's...really awesome actually...I mean I am probably going to trip over it at least a billion more times as my head tries to wrap itself around how...just how...that's just really awesome hahaha….Oh god I can hear my face blushing from my end of the phone...ugh!...did I put I was cool on the resume? Cuz haha I might have stretched that a bit…”

”It...it does say; Kenneth Mason pretty much the coolest guy you know. On here…”

”Full disclosure...I am grinning like a totally doof right now ha...um...haha….”

” ‘Sometimes a doof, but we love it’ is penciled in right here. So, you are in the clear there.”

”So I'm your… And so that would make you..huh...haha...but like in an official way… Hahaha...cool...that is cool...Trine Larsen...um… Hahah I'm sorry I can't seem to actually find sentences right now so I am just gonna wait for you to say something so I can say something”

At some point Kenneth being flustered on his side of the line had managed to have her flustered on her side. It had been fine at first, but hearing him bumbling his way through it had managed to to sort of kick start the nervousness in her own system for having made that step. She could feel her face burning, the heat of it reaching the top of her ears.

”I mean, you were practicing saying babe in the mirror...so I...uh...I mean...I feel like we were kinda there...already...and…I mean...I would be honoured to be...officially...Kenneth Mason’s...person- so...I was joking with the...business thing it’s not like….it’s not like letting you just be...because I...It’s not- uh….” back on course! ”I...was going to go for my run...but I can skype you if you’re not busy in like an hour and we can…’have breakfast’ again. If you wanted…as….each other's persons officially.”

“I...Trine...honestly I would love that...Officially hahaha”

The blonde rolled to the side and kicked her legs over the side of the bed, idly pushing the covers off of her lap, and listening to Ken’s laugh with a soft smile.

”Unofficially though I am going to be tearing through my closet trying to find a shirt that perfectly says ‘Grade A boyfriend material’ without being too in your face about it”

”Something tells me whatever shirt you end up you’ll be just fine,” she shifted, her charger cord in the table top, before getting to her feet and making her way to the dresser across the room from the bed, ”I’ll-” she really didn’t want to hang up…”I’ll talk to you in a bit…

Trine pulled a drawer open and for a moment found herself asking what a ‘Grade A girlfriend material’ shirt looked like.

”I’m really glad you called...I…I think it was just one of those times I needed to hear your voice.”

She smiled, pinching the phone between her shoulder and her ear.

”Grade A boyfriend timing one might say.”